A) I hate kids.
B) I am 100% certain that I’m not ready to be a father. (Relax, I haven’t made anyone pregnant)
C) I am not in any way clued up on this parenting thing.
D) I hate kids.
Okay, now that that’s out of the way, we can get started.
I came up with a theory a few weeks ago about parents and their children. I’m sure someone has thought of this little theory before me, but I don’t care. I’m claiming it as my own!
Here’s my theory that I haven’t entirely thought through properly:
Parents are there to teach their children the usual stuff like right from wrong and instill morals & values. But what some of us might not realise, even the parents themselves, is that they also teach their children how to raise their own kids when they are older.
Think about it for a second. (I’m thinking about it too because I’m trying to figure out where exactly I’m going with this)
For most people who start thinking about having children, a frequent question they ask themselves is “How am I going to raise my kids?” I suppose the most common answer to that would be “The same way my parents raised me.”
And that makes sense.
If you were brought up in a loving & caring home and are happy with the way your parents raised you, then I suppose you would want to raise your kids the same way too.
But not everyone feels that way about their upbringing. There are some who were raised in a loving and caring environment, but weren’t entirely happy with the way their parents did things. Those are the type of people who would want to raise their own children differently from the way they were raised.
Some parents try to raise weak, submissive kids. Maybe not intentionally, but that’s the way it seems. They raise their kids in an environment where the kids aren’t allowed to have an opinion or when they do have an opinion on certain matters they’re expected to keep it to themselves. There is no open communication channel between the parents and the children.
That doesn’t sound like a good space to be in.
Then there are those parents who are never there. Sure, they provide the basic necessities like food, shelter and education – but they’re never there physically and emotionally for their children. That doesn’t sound like a good space to be in either.
I don’t think perfect parents exist. You can be good parents or bad parents, but you’ll never be perfect. Children have their own unique personalities and thus their own unique needs. To satisfy each and every one of these needs is impossible.
As children, the best thing we can do from our parents is learn. Whether they’re good or bad parents. We can learn what and what not to do when it comes to raising our own kids. We can develop our own parenting styles based on what we’ve seen from our parents.
I don’t think any child will ever be completely satisfied with how they were raised. Even if you were raised in a good household, you probably have that one thing that you feel could have been done better or differently. It’s up to you to change that thing with your kids. I think as the generations go by, parenting will improve. We’re learning not only from each other, but also from the generations that have come before us.
Things can only get better.