“Do You Love Me?”

My relationship was going so well until a few days ago.

I’ve been dating this girl for 6 months now, and it’s been going really well. She’s cool. She’s very religious, she’s serious about school and she knows what she wants from life. Basically, she’s nothing like I am. We are polar opposites. I guess that’s what I like most about her – she’s different, nothing like the other girls I’ve dated before.

I initially worried about how we’d make it work, how we’d get passed our different religious views. She did too. I’m an Atheist and she’s really serious about Christianity, but we worried for nothing. Things between us just worked. We don’t need to talk about religion and all that other stuff, we just focus on us.

So yeah, things were going well until a few days ago. What happened, you ask? She asked me that one question. That one dreaded question that’s been the demise of many of my relationships. “Do You Love Me?”

I know what you’re thinking: what’s so hard about answering that question?

Well, I’ve learned over the years that it isn’t one of those questions that you just say yes to. It’s one of those questions that I’ve sworn to answer honestly. I refuse to tell someone I love them, when I really don’t, just to keep the peace. I’d much rather give you an honest “No, I don’t love you.” than a rehearsed and meaningless “Yes, I love you.”

And that’s what happened with my girlfriend. I gave her an honest answer. I told her, “No, I don’t love you yet. But I like you a lot.”

And that’s the most honest answer I could’ve given her. I could’ve lied to her and told I love her, but what’s the point of dating someone if you can’t be honest with them? What’s the point of dating someone if you don’t respect them enough to tell them the truth?

I guess the truth does hurt, because after I gave her that answer, we had a huge fight. I understand where she’s coming from and why she got angry with my answer. When you’ve been dating for 6 months, you assume that your partner loves you. That they feel the same way about you that you feel about them. I get that. I really do.

The thing is; I’m not the type of person who falls head over heels for someone after dating for a few months. Not anymore. I used to be that guy, but I got my fingers burnt for being that guy. I learnt my lesson. I want to be sure about how I feel about someone. I want to fall for her at my own pace, not just for the sake of keeping the peace, but because I really do feel a certain way about her. I want to be absolutely sure before I tell her “I love you.”

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