Relationships are weird little things. And wonderful, they’re wonderful too. And a whole lot of other positive stuff. Believe it or not, I’ve been in a relationship for over a year. Yep, some poor girl has been tolerating yours truly for over a year. A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR!
The more time I spend with her, the more I realise that my lady’s influence over me has grown. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the music she makes me listen to. I’d like to believe that I’m an eclectic lover of music. I’ll listen to almost any genre. Rock, Hip-Hop, R&B, House, Dub-Step, Kwaito, Afro-Pop, whatever. Send it my way and I’ll probably listen to it. Except Gospel and Jazz. That’s where my eclecticism stops.
Some of the music my lady’s got me listening to just isn’t right. Not because the songs are bad or anything, but because these are girly songs that I’m actually starting to enjoy. Songs about girl power and how awesome women are and how women don’t need men. My girlfriend is trying to turn me into a girl, you guys. 😦
Just yesterday she spent the whole day making me listen to Taylor Swift’s “22”. I hate Taylor Swift, but after being forced to listen to that song over a hundred times, I ended up liking it…and downloading it…and listening to it…and learning the lyrics. What the fuck is happening to me?! 😦
Before that, she had me listening to “Fancy” by Iggy Azalea featuring Charli XCX. The first time I heard the song, I wanted to hang myself. I thought it was trash. Then my lady started playing it all the time. First, I found myself liking Charli XCX’s verse. Then I liked Iggy Azalea’s second verse, then I started liking and singing along to the whole damn thing.
Oh dear God 😦
Another song she’s got me liking way too fucking much is Beyonce’s “XO”. Fucking Beyonce, you guys! You know something’s wrong when you’re all alone in the car and you’re singing along to a Beyonce song at the top of your lungs 😦
Enough is enough! I’m putting my foot down! I will not allow my girlfriend to succeed in her mission to turn me into her girlfriend. I am going to counter all this girly music I’m being forced to listen to and regain my masculinity by listening to a whole lot of gangsta rap. For every bullshit girly song I find myself liking, I’m going to listen to at least three different DMX, NWA and Tupac songs.
I think it’s a solid plan!
Okay, I’m lying.
It’s an awful plan.
I’m so fucked 😦