Is there anything worse than unrequited love? I’ll wait while you think about your answer.
No, there isn’t. There isn’t anything worse than unrequited love (There probably is, but I’m throwing all logic out the window right now for the sake of this post).
“Unrequited love is a ridiculous state, and it makes those in it behave ridiculously.”
Love is tricky. It really shouldn’t be, but it is. We fall, and we fall hard. Falling is never graceful and it’s never planned. Sometimes you feel yourself falling, you try to stop it, but you can’t. During the fall, you just let go. You embrace it. Deep down you know it can only end in one of two ways – you’ll either hit the ground hard, or someone will be there to catch you before you do. You ignore the former and hope for the latter. With all your heart, you hope that someone will be there to catch you. Embrace you. And if that doesn’t happen, you hope for the next best thing: that the person you’re falling so hard for will be there, falling with you, and you both hit the ground together. It will hurt, but at least they’ll be there with you, right?
“Falling was never the problem, never the fear. It’s the hitting the ground part that hurts.”
Falling is scary, but it can be beautiful too. You look forward to seeing this person everyday. Seeing them, being in their presence, just talking to them makes you smile. Thoughts of this person fill your mind. All. The. Time.
When you close your eyes, all you see is their face. Those eyes that enchant you, that gentle voice that comforts you and that smile that makes your heart beat faster. You move past all the physical features that initially attracted you to them and you begin to fall in love with who they are. Their kind heart, their stern beliefs and all their imperfections make you love them even more. You’re enamoured. This falling, it scares you, but it makes you happy too. You feel a sense of attachment, you are in what you hope will be a never-ending state of bliss. Everyone around you can see how happy you are.
“To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.”
And now, here you are. Happy, excited, besotted by this person. You wonder if they might feel the same way about you. If they might like you as much as you like them. You wonder. This constant wondering begins to mess with you, so you decide to tell them how you feel. You take the proverbial leap of faith. This new love. This new love that you can’t put into words. But you have to. You have to find the words to let them know how you feel. You tell them. From your heart to their ears, you let them know that you are completely taken by them. You pour your heart out to them and hope they’ll tell you they feel the same way too. You hope they’ll catch you or fall with you.
“Love that remains longest in your heart is the one that is not returned.”
All that love you felt? It’s unrequited. Unreciprocated. All that hope you had for someone catching you or falling with you? It’s pointless. You realise now that you’re on your own. You know now that you fell on your own. You hit the ground, hard. Your landing isn’t very graceful or very pleasant. You want to get up, but you can’t. You feel helpless, hopeless. It all feels so pointless now. You invested all your hopes and emotions into this one person, and they tell you they don’t feel the same way. It crushes you. It hurts you. And for a while, it feels like this pain won’t go away. Like it will last forever. Fortunately, it doesn’t. You find the strength to get back on your feet. On your way back up you tell yourself that you won’t ever let this happen again. It was silly and it’s left you feeling embarrassed. You regain your balance and dust yourself off – then it hits you. As you’re busy finding your feet again, it hits you. You realise that you feel the exact same way about this person. The knowledge of your love being unrequited has not changed how you feel about them. Maybe you’re a bit cautious with your love now, but still, your feelings remain unchanged. You are still completely, hopelessly in love with this person. Now what?
“Ask me why I keep on loving you when it’s clear that you don’t feel the same way for me. The problem is that as much as I can’t force you to love me, I can’t force myself to stop loving you.”
I’ll ask you again, is there anything worse than unrequited love?