Yesterday was my birthday. I am now a 22-year-old barely functioning member of society. Ohh, so much responsibility! Lol there’s something really weird about having my birthday so close after the start of a new year. Yes, yes, this is the part where I try to explain a thought that I’m not even sure about to the rest of you. Indulge me.
“New year, new beginnings.”
How often do we hear that during the start of a new year? The new year comes along, you look at your life, think about the previous year, where you might have fucked up (I fucked up a lot) and you swear that you won’t make those mistakes again this year. You are going to be better. The same thing happens on birthdays. You look back on the last 365 days of your life, think about the goals you’d set for yourself for that particular age and try to figure out how close you are to achieving them.
That sure is a lot of introspection, huh? Well I do it twice, in four days. It’s a miracle my head has not spontaneously combusted yet. While I’m still accepting the decisions I made for myself on the 1st of January, the 4th of Jan sneaks up on me and has me re-evaluating my initial evaluations. Lol can you tell that I’m an over-thinker?
And this year was very different. By the time the 4th of Jan came along, I hadn’t even made any decisions from the 1st of Jan. Life is so complicated right now (seriously, when is life never complicated?) It’s an important year because 2015 is the year where I head off into the big bad world on my own. And that’s the one thing I realised on my birthday: whatever it is I’ll be doing with my life this year, it’ll be on my own. No friends will be there with me, no significant other will be there on this journey with me – it’s just me, on my own, and that is okay (not really). Sometimes you just look at your life and realise that some things (read people) are not worth the time and effort you put in. Am I sounding really cryptic right now? Lol forgive me.
I actually had a half-decent birthday. I enjoyed most of it.